I think a lot about life, and about Karen. One of my many thoughts is if I could send a short message to Karen what would it be? Assuming you could only send one short sentence what would your last words be? I have said before that I would give everything I have to make one last phone call to Karen to tell her how I feel. If that call where very short what would you say?
My first thoughts were the typical “I wish….” thoughts. I wish the accident had not happened. I wish I had spent more time with you. I wish I had told you more often how much I loved you. The problem with the “I wish” thoughts is they didn’t express what I wanted her to know or tell her how I felt.
My second thought was “Why….”. Why did this have to happen? Why didn’t you stop earlier? Why? Again, if I had only one call to make this would not be what I wanted.
More thoughts including “I’m sorry”, “Remember”, and so on came to mind but nothing would do. Even the obligatory “I love you” didn’t relay what I wanted to say.
After much thinking my final message to Karen is “Thank you.” Thank you for spending your life with me. Thank you for being in love with me. Thank you for making my life better. Thank you for being you and being with me. I can’t think of a more appropriate message to send. Our life was not filled with regret, doubt, blame, or anger. It was filled with life, love, and happiness. I only have thanks in my heart, there is no room for anything else. |
